Wednesday, 20 May 2015

I Swear, Delhi

Source: perplexedparent.com


“This f***ing system is so f***ing slow”

“He’s b*****. Most of the times, he doesn’t know what the f*** he’s doing!”

“Aree b*****, how long does it take to cross the f***ing road?”

“What the f***?!”
I swear, Delhi, you guys love to swear! I think, every Delhi person’s morning must be starting with “its f***ing morning. I will have to rush to the f***ing office!” and night must be ending with “B*****, its f***ing awesome party!”

I know, you must be wondering if I have lost my mind but let me assure you, no, I really haven’t. I’m just at the end of my rope, listening to swearing as soon as I’m out of my home. I hail from Ahmedabad, Gujarat, where most of the times people prefer to yell instead of swear. In fact, it’s more preferable to land blows on each other instead of calling names when you are fighting! I know this also doesn’t make sense but that’s the culture I hail from.

We. Just. Don’t. Swear. Period.

At home, I still remember I used to be punished because I had called my younger bro a donkey! Consequently, I couldn’t even think of swearing or calling anyone names. And this habit has still stuck to me. Even today, when I’m really angry on someone, I would rather say “beep, beep, and beep” and I’m happy that I called names. Now for God’s sake, don’t ask me what does “beep, beep, beep” mean! Because I too don’t know what exact words do I mean but the logic is, if the word is censored in PG13 movies, it would be “beep.” It doesn’t matter which swear word exactly it is, but it’s a swear word. So as I wanted to offend you, I said “beep.”

I remember, once I was really angry on my friend and I wanted to swear. At that time, I didn’t even know what kind of swear words were there (in last 4 months, I have learnt a lot of them). So I told him “I’m swearing at you using the same abusive words that you find offensive.” Unfortunately, instead of getting angry, he was amused. Never mind that but you do realize what I’m trying to say, don’t you?

Talking about swearing, I really don’t understand why the root of all the cuss words lies in sex and body parts? Doesn’t sex take a beautiful form of lovemaking when two people are in love? Doesn’t sex procreate life that most women nearly die to bear? About body parts: what’s so disgusting about it? It’s simply how nature has made us. Why to use it offensively? Just imagine if you are unable to go to bathroom for an entire day! Most probably you will lose your kidney, sooner or later. Do you still think anything is offensive about those body parts?

I really, really don’t understand swearing or the reasons for swearing. Especially “f***ing awesome” kind of swearing. I’d rather be shot at than being called names. Period.

18 comments:

  1. a lovely post.... :-) reminded me of bachpan when I was punished for calling someone an 'idiot' too :p (but I have a very different take on the swearing part.... may be we'll discuss that some other time)
    cheers, Archana - www.drishti.co

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  2. Nice post :)

    http://zigzacmania.blogspot.in/

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  3. Never understood the need to swear, though I confess I do use them when I'm downright irritated (which is not very often). Even here, there is swearing of course, but in regional dialect more than English. Me, I prefer "Take that!" instead of the censored words ;)

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    1. What exactly does "Take that" mean? There must be some logic, like my "beep."

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  4. Hehehe, I spent four days in Delhi and came back with a truck, load of swear words.

    I abuse a lot. But with decent words. I yell like there is no tomorrow, but never use swear words detailing sex and the body parts. Delhi guys excel at it. But then you know, it is survival of the fittest there!

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  5. Correction! NOT EVERY f*****g person's day starts with swear words! Though I won't contest the basic premise of this post. Maybe, because Delhi has been a melting point of cultures that we delhiites have grown to love our swear words, so much so that be it good or bad, those swear words are just at the tips of our tongues.

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    1. How can anyone love swear words? :/

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  6. OYE!!! OYE!!! On a rampage mode man!!! Wonderful, wonderful post. I kept smiling all the way down. Btw... i too luv to swear under the breath i mean. You know how conservative i am :)

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    1. Thanks Jini for liking the post. And yes, I do know how conservative you are l ;)

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  7. I came and read this hoping to learn some new words. I was disappointed. :) For some people, the term "BC" or "MC" is used as punctuation or as a friendly greeting, almost a term of endearment. Luckily, I do not have to resort to such punctuation methods because the schools I attended drilled English punctuation skills into me at a young and impressionable age. :)

    You may wish to read this - just to let you know that swearing isn't just for males.
    https://sloword.wordpress.com/2013/04/26/oh-sister/

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  8. Actually we're so f***** used to listening to these words that we've adjusted to it.. Seriously, sometimes they do help though.. ;)

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  9. I think I will take the other road. How do I get someone so angry that they cannot even cuss? They want to call you all the names together but they are just not able to. That should be fun to watch and smile and then offer them a glass of water :D.

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    1. Maybe they will just club you over the head :P

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