Time and again, I've been told what I should be doing and how wrong I am in doing certain things. Although it seemed to the advisors that these talks weren't making an ounce of a difference to me, that wasn't the case. I was listening to them, understand their viewpoints and couldn't fault them. Still, I couldn't do what they were asking of me. That's my shortcoming. And when I think about it, I'm not even sure if I'm right or they are right. But does it make any difference? If I'm not doing something that I'm supposed to, who's hurt at the end of it? It's I, right? I also know that this direction of argument is not productive at all, but that's life, isn't it?
As has been the case throughout my life, I've had some plans. The plans that I tried to implement in last one year. The plans that failed and shattered me in the process. My blogging suffered as a result. I've had few regular readers who quit reading me. Of course I'm not blaming them. Who would like to visit a blog only to find stale content? I knew what I was doing, I knew how I was disappointing my regular readers, I knew what I'd lose at the end of the day. Still, I couldn't stop myself from doing it. Maybe I've passive-destructive capabilities within me that aren't blatantly visible. God knows! The bottom line is, I still don't know what I'm doing yet I want to continue what I'm doing. Is that insane? Maybe yes. Do I need to form a better plan of action? Maybe yes. Will I do it? Maybe Yes. Or I will just keep on doing what I'm doing to reach the bottom of the ravine and see how dark they are. Whatever I do or plan to do, I know I will suffer because I've to pay the price of living. But then, that's life, isn't it?
Have I made any sense? If not, that's life too, isn't it?