How many times have we cut off certain relationships when we are going through grief? Many times. It’s easy to share happiness and it’s infinitely difficult to share sorrows. Even though it’s said that happiness increases and pain decreases when you share those feelings with your near and dear ones, it takes herculean efforts to follow through the latter. And when we fail in that and ignore our relationships, those people in our life end up being collateral damage.
Collateral damage to the situations that were beyond our and their control.
Few years back, I went through a harrowing phase of life that made me run away from everything. Not literally but mentally. I couldn’t relate to my friends, to my family. I couldn’t talk with them and they couldn’t understand me. That’s grief. Mind-numbing grief. Then I gained my senses. I realized what I was doing. Even though my grief wasn’t abated, I realized that running away from the feelings is not the answer.
The only thing we can do to stop turning the people we love into collateral damages is to find comfort in the small things they do for us. Of course this may not change the situation for us but when you are finally over that phase, you will have someone to care for, something to live for.
And for the people who became collateral damage by their loved ones, they have to move on. Yes, it’s difficult to do it but sometimes that’s the only thing you can do for yourself, for your sanity. Put yourself first because without you, there’s no meaning left in any relationship. It’s you who’s equally important in the relationship, and it doesn’t make sense to get abused for the situations that are beyond your control. It’d be painful but necessary. Necessary for your pride, necessary for your self-respect.
Straighten up your spine and move on. Being collateral damage is never fun nor is making anyone that.