Thursday, 10 November 2016

iPhone, the love of my life!

I know, more than half of the world is already judging me for being in love with you, iPhone, and I really don’t care about that. My love for you is as pure as a flower blooming in the middle of a snowy winter. Okay, that might be a bit of exaggeration but you get the point, don’t you? My day starts with you when I put you on snooze for more than an hour every 5 minutes; you remind and help me pay all my bills on time; and when the night falls … I just have to read books with you. I just can’t think of ending my day any other way. *blushes*

I know coyness isn’t my strong suit but hey, I’m trying here. But come to think of it, do you care at all? I mean, really, really care? Of course, not. Had you cared, you wouldn’t have acted like a typical man and left me high and dry at a Subway sandwich shop.

A sandwich shop, of all places! I mean, really? You had to dump me there?

You know, you could have shown more class and taken me to an upscale candlelight dinner while letting me down gently. But no, you have to have your way in everything, even when you are dumping me. You didn’t have the decency to tell me directly: you just went off with another woman. Oh, I hope it was a woman. It sounds lot better than being dumped summarily for a man. Mind you, I’m not homophobic or a Trump supporter but just the idea of you pretending with me all this time while I was making a fool of myself over you is simple too much to digest.

And for what kind of future you dumped me? For Nepal? I mean, really? It’s not even Norway the way we talked about. Or Russia, for that matter. I could have taken you to Nepal had you told me about your wish. But no, you had to be the strong, silent time. You would go off in your dark, brooding moods and I would wonder why a tab is taking so much of time to open or why are you crashing so much, sitting right next to me. If only I knew about your plans … if only.

On second thoughts, I’m just so glad you dumped me. You know why? Because being the kind of a person that I’m, I’d have stood beside you until your last breath. It wouldn’t have mattered to me how I hated every moment of it; the point would have been your suffering. I would have kept charging you, deleting one app after another to reduce your workload, and taking less of nonsense pictures!

Pictures remind me of the photos that you took away with you! How dare you? You took not only my photos but my friends’ as well. What were you thinking? Taking away my financial details wasn’t enough for you that you even had to take away those precious moments from me? Now I’m not only changing all my passwords everywhere but I’m also reassuring my friends that you aren’t a scumbag even though you are behaving like a one.

I may be replaceable for you but I don’t know how much time I will need to recover from your loss. I’m not a filthy rich person who can just walk into an Apple store and get another of you. A better version at that. I’m a middle-class salaried person who will have to scrimp and save for ages. I’m not kidding. Given my salary, and the way taxes suck me dry in the start of every month, I might as well die without you – lonely, shriveled and bitter.

But then, how does all this matter to you? You are in Nepal, enjoying mountains’ fresh air and meeting new people. And here I’m, baring my heart and being condemned by most of the world for loving you so deeply and thoroughly.

I hope there’s some justice in this world and you also get dumped the way I did. I’d love you to die in the arms of your new lady love as soon as she falls in love with you. I way I was. Err … rather the way I am.
I wish we never meet again. Or if we do, I want the better version of you. Period.


  1. My iphone dumped me at a restaurant and then i shook hands with Android :)

    1. LOL ... I may as well end up doing it.