I Swear, Delhi

Source: perplexedparent.com

“This f***ing system is so f***ing slow”

“He’s b*****. Most of the times, he doesn’t know what the f*** he’s doing!”

“Aree b*****, how long does it take to cross the f***ing road?”

“What the f***?!”
I swear, Delhi, you guys love to swear! I think, every Delhi person’s morning must be starting with “its f***ing morning. I will have to rush to the f***ing office!” and night must be ending with “B*****, its f***ing awesome party!”

I know, you must be wondering if I have lost my mind but let me assure you, no, I really haven’t. I’m just at the end of my rope, listening to swearing as soon as I’m out of my home. I hail from Ahmedabad, Gujarat, where most of the times people prefer to yell instead of swear. In fact, it’s more preferable to land blows on each other instead of calling names when you are fighting! I know this also doesn’t make sense but that’s the culture I hail from.

We. Just. Don’t. Swear. Period.

At home, I still remember I used to be punished because I had called my younger bro a donkey! Consequently, I couldn’t even think of swearing or calling anyone names. And this habit has still stuck to me. Even today, when I’m really angry on someone, I would rather say “beep, beep, and beep” and I’m happy that I called names. Now for God’s sake, don’t ask me what does “beep, beep, beep” mean! Because I too don’t know what exact words do I mean but the logic is, if the word is censored in PG13 movies, it would be “beep.” It doesn’t matter which swear word exactly it is, but it’s a swear word. So as I wanted to offend you, I said “beep.”

I remember, once I was really angry on my friend and I wanted to swear. At that time, I didn’t even know what kind of swear words were there (in last 4 months, I have learnt a lot of them). So I told him “I’m swearing at you using the same abusive words that you find offensive.” Unfortunately, instead of getting angry, he was amused. Never mind that but you do realize what I’m trying to say, don’t you?

Talking about swearing, I really don’t understand why the root of all the cuss words lies in sex and body parts? Doesn’t sex take a beautiful form of lovemaking when two people are in love? Doesn’t sex procreate life that most women nearly die to bear? About body parts: what’s so disgusting about it? It’s simply how nature has made us. Why to use it offensively? Just imagine if you are unable to go to bathroom for an entire day! Most probably you will lose your kidney, sooner or later. Do you still think anything is offensive about those body parts?

I really, really don’t understand swearing or the reasons for swearing. Especially “f***ing awesome” kind of swearing. I’d rather be shot at than being called names. Period.